"You think the only people who are people//Are the people who look and think like you//But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger// You'll learn things you never knew you never knew"

     Zvanično prođe godina kako je nastao mininminiblog, pa je red da proslavimo nekim tekstom. Iako laptop nisam uzela u ruke onoliko dugo koliko nečega novog na blogu nema ipak se u međuvremenu dosta stvari izdešavalo. 

    Nešto što trenutno zauzima dosta vremena u mom životu je posao u čajdžinici koja predstavlja stecište multikulturalnosti.

Nažalost, nisam sigurna koliko naš narod vidi značaja u mestima gde je moguće naići na razne kulture osim sopstvene - nisam sigurna ni koliko sam ja shvatala zašto je važno da ona postoje. Oduvek sam imala naklonosti ka drugim kulturama, da što više saznam o njima, da shvatim kako žive, možda da postanem toliko umrežena da se na tren osetim kao francuskinja, španjolka ili kineskinja. 

Valjda zato što sam se često osećala kao da nigde baš ne pripadam.

 No, odatle i moj beneficirani položaj da uđem kroz svaka vrata, ostanem koji dan i izađem - baš kao u Encantu. Jeste li gledali "Encanto"? Ako niste, preporučujem - prezabavan, a usput se pozabavio sa nekoliko ozbiljnih problema; sa neuklapanjem, sa posebnošću, sa proročanstvima itd.

Joj kada krenete da čitate moje tekstove često bude kao uwu ja se ne uklapam, uwu ja sam jadna mala koja nema nigde nikog, što je naravno daleko od istine. 

Istina je da mi se dopada što sam nigde i svuda, što sam dvorska luda koja radi šta hoće. 

Biram da budem jester, stoga me nemojte žaliti.

Multikulturalnost na poslu, da. 

Znači u radnom okruženju nas ima desetak - Srbi i Kinezi. Šefica nije Srpkinja i pričamo sa njom na engleskom, eventualno na kineskom (ako neko od nas zna jezik). 

Jasno mi je da je našem narodu muka od stranaca, od emigranata i da se možda neki od nas osećaju kao da im ti ljudi otimaju parče hleba ili zemlje iz usta. Razumem da ih krive, jer su cene stanova skočile sa dvesta na četiristo evra; da ih krive što nema posla, što naši ljudi gube posao. 

 Nekima ličimo na koloniju koju svak prisvaja kako mu se prohte.

 Nijedan od navedenih strahova ili problema ja ne poričem, niti želim da ih objašnjavam sada.

 Želim da svima nama kažem da prestanemo da se plašimo. 

Da nas strah od nepoznatog ograničava i ubija, zato što je kulturu nemoguće ograničiti i sačuvati je za sebe (osim ako niste jedno od plemena u dolini amazonske prašume ili ako putem politike ozbiljno radite na ograničavanju ljudi koji mogu ući u vašu državu).

Kakav je smisao granica (figurativnih) imajući u vidu sveopštu povezanost omogućenu internetom? Ako iz Srbije mogu na instagramu da vidim da u Americi gore šume, da Francuzi protestuju, da Palestinci pokušavaju da nađu pomoć da prežive, koja je svrha bežanja od uticaja drugog? 

Zahvaljujući televiziji i internetu nastao je fenomen ,,empatije za svet i prema svetu" - saosećanje prema događajima koji se nimalo ne tiču nas, niti naše zemlje...I neka je. 

Možda je malo opterećujuće biti informisan o svemu uvek, ali naučićemo da se nosimo sa time.

Ipak između realnosti i onoga što mogu videti na telefonu je veliki raskorak, zato je potrebno imati fizički kontakt sa drugim kulturama. 

Da razmenimo reči.

Ako to ne pričamo misleći da ćemo izgubiti nekakav duh srpstva, bratstva i jedinstva, da ćemo zaboraviti da su naši preci išli preko Prokletija na Krf, da ću zaboraviti da je moj pradeda učestvovao u Drugom svetskom ratu, da su mojoj babi spalili kući, da su moji pobegli sa Kosova, onda postavljam sledeće pitanje:

Da li borbe da posedujemo, da branimo naše korene, naše pretke zasnovane na traumama i patnjama stvarno treba da budu glavni razlog iza želje da sačuvamo nešto?

Jaoj pa znaš šta sam ja sve pretrpela, izgubila, dala da bih došla gde sam.

 Kako da samo pustim?

Zašto sebe podsećati na nešto što te stalno čini izvanredno tužnom ili tužnim?

Niko ni ne traži da zaborav.

Mislim da je u redu sećati se, sećati se svega lošeg što se desilo, ali ako smo postali narod koji se seća svega lošeg i ako nam je svaka istorijska lekcija zasnovana na patnji, šta sve ovo treba da nam kaže o nama samima?

Da nam je suđeno da budemo nesrećni, nezadovoljni - uvek, barem pomalo.

Stekla sam utisak da je dosta ljudi tugom, mržnjom i siromaštvom vezano za svoj život u Srbiji (nađe se tu i lepih stvari), zato što mislim da su veze zasnovane na negativnim osećanjima mnogo jače i razornije. 

Znate ono kada se skontate sa drugarom/drugaricom, jer vas je zeznula ista osoba - zapravo se povezujete preko loše stvari koja se desila oboma. Naravno, niko ne kaže da nećete biti super.

Niti da je loše što ste se povezale oko situacije kroz koju ste prošle.

Mada će uvek postojati ta osoba sa kojom se nijedan/a od vas ne druži, a koja vas veže :)

Tako i narod čuva veze, jer se tako valja.

 Kada bismo izvan njih pogledali jedni u druge, videli koliko se ne poznajemo, shvatili da smo u stvari mi jedni drugima preplašeni stranci, onda, onda, ne znam šta bismo radili.

Bog zna.

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I think this is the first text that will be translated into English, I just felt that I'd like to send it to my boss and some friends to read.

It has now officially been a year since I wrote the first post for my blog, and that deserves a new post to celebrate its existence. Even though I haven't used my laptop since God knows when a lot of things have happened in my life that are worth writing about.

Something that right now occupies a lot of space in my life is the new job I got at the teashop which is a great meeting point between different cultures - a multicultural spot.

Sadly, I'm not sure to what degree our people see the significance of the places where you can come across many cultures except their own - I'm not even sure how much I understand its importance either.

I have always had a thing for other cultures, I wanted to know more, to understand how they live and I'd dare say maybe to even become so intertwined to feel as if I'm French, Spanish or Chinese.

Maybe that is why I have always felt (a little bit) like I don't belong anywhere.

However, not belonging has made my position of being everywhere and nowhere at the same time possible - I can go through every door, stay for a few days and go out - just like in Encanto. 

Did you watch "Encanto"? If not, I recommend the movie - it deals with serious themes and problems while being fun all the time.

Oooooh, when you start reading my blog, almost everywhere you can see: "I don't belong uwu, life is so hard for me uwu", which of course can't be farther from the truth.

The truth is that I like acting like Schrodinger's cat.

I chose to be a jester who does what it wants and I don't want any condolences for being like that.

Let's get back to multiculturality, yes.

So, in the working environment, there are around ten of us - Chinese and Serbians. Boss lady (I have heard this from a cartoon, I think that Big Foot calls Bugs Bunny "lady" in the New Looney Toons) isn't Serbian and we talk with her in English or maybe even in Chinese if some of us know the language.

I understand that our people are sick and tired of foreigners, and emigrants and some of us may feel like they are taking the bread off our tables or like they're taking a piece of our land. I understand we blame them because of the apartment prices that have gone up from two hundred euros to four hundred euros, that we blame them for losing our jobs, for fewer job opportunities.

To some, we may look like a colony to which everyone has a right except us.

None of these problems and fears I do not deny, nor do I have a wish to explain them to you right now.

I just wish for all of us to stop being so scared.

I wish that fear of the unknown would stop limiting us and slowly killing us because it is impossible to own a culture for oneself. 

It may be possible for the tribes living in the Amazonian rain forests which strongly fight against the influences of other cultures, but why would we do that?

What is the sense behind restrictions and restraints if we have in mind how much we are connected to each other by the internet for example?

If I from Serbia can see on Instagram forests burning down in America, the French protesting against their government, and Palestinians begging for help to survive, what is the point of running away from the influence of others?

Television and the internet have made empathy for the world possible - feeling emotions about events that have nothing to do with me or my country, and I'm glad I can feel like that.

Maybe it is a little bit overwhelming to always be informed about everything, but so be it, we will learn how to cope with it.

But, between reality and the stuff I see on my phone, there is a big discrepancy, that is why it's important to have physical contact with other cultures too.

Talking with other cultures is substantial.

If we don't talk thinking that we will lose the essence of being a Serbian, some kind of liberté, égalité, fraternité, that we will forget how our ancestors went through the mountains of Albania during the winter to get to Corfu, or how my grandparent was a soldier in one of the world wars, that my grandma's house was burnt down or that my parents ran away from Kosovo, then I ask you this:

Should these struggles over owning land, and defending our roots based on our traumas or suffering really be the main reason for "saving our country" from foreigners?

- Do you have an idea what I have lost, given, and survived, that I could live here and you want me to let go? Some could say.

And then I'd ask:

Why do you give yourself another reason in your short human life to be sad about? 

Nobody is asking you to forget by throwing traumas into quicksand.

It is good to remember, to remember the bad things that have happened, but if we become a nation that always remembers everything bad that ever happened to us and if every history lesson is taught by reminding us of the suffering that our people went through, what is this supposed to tell us, people living in this country right now?

That we are destined to be unhappy.

I got the impression that a lot of people in Serbia are bound to this country by their sadness, hatred, and poverty because bonds created by negative feelings and shared wounds are stronger and more destructive than any other.

Have you ever made a connection with someone over a friend that none of you hang out with anymore?

You two are connecting through the same negative experience of the other person. Of course nobody can say for a fact that this will influence a friendship, but there will always be a little atom of remembrance of the reason why you got together.

That is how our people keep these bonds, by binding many many of these atoms together.

But if only we could take a look outside of the atomic field and maybe look at ourselves in the mirror, we would see how much we don't know, how many strangers there are among us, how foreign we are to ourselves and to each other...

If we did that, then I have no idea what could happen.

God knows.

P. S. 

All the pictures used (this video too) are from "Pocahontas" (1995) Disney movie that is, to say the least, really infamous now when people talk about representation of native people in the animation industry. Even tho I used to love this movie when I was a kid and I still like it, I'm aware that it isn't a good example when talking about multiculturality. There are some things about the cartoon that I like, but I can discuss that in some other post.